how we got engaged

ben and linda just after getting engaged, january 2005

he said

Getting the ring

After spending the fall thinking about asking Linda to marry me and researching online and asking friends how to go about getting a ring, I figured out that the best place to buy a diamond would be in New York City. New Years Eve was on a Friday in 2004, so I figured out that I would head up to New York the Thursday so that I would have the Friday to go to the diamond district and buy a ring. Linda and I had previously visited the area to buy Linda a aquamarine necklace, so I had some confidence about being able to find a place and pull off the purchase. I also had an amount I wanted to spend in my head based on researching diamonds at www.bluenile.com.

On Friday December 31st, 2004, I set out to buy a diamond (and a ring) for Linda. As I was walking over to the diamond district, I ran into my high school friend Mike Doyle outside of his office building. Small world. After heading over to the diamond district and looking at diamonds for an hour or so, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I called Dennis to see if he was free, and then somehow I figured out that Ashley was in town and I got her to come over to meet me under the guise of picking out some jewelry for Linda. Once she got there we went to a couple places, and she told me a bit about the different cuts, and so I looked at some princess cut diamonds at the next place we went to. I realized I wanted a round cut, and finally with Ashley's help I settled for a diamond. The ring was a lot easier, and while waiting to get the stone set we met a man buying a ring competely surrounded with diamonds, which made me feel a bit light in the wallet.

As an alibi, Ashley and I walked around looking for Wachovia branches and photographing ourselves in front of them. I had been talking to Linda about proposing a comercial to Wachovia of myself traveling the country going to Wachovia ATMs, so she thought that this story was plausible. I think the combination of a few pictures and my history of quirkiness sold it.

Popping the question.

Although it was tempting to ask Linda in front of friends at New Year's, I wanted to do it with just the two of us around, so there was no outside influence. (So she wouldn't feel compelled to say yes, such as one might when asked on the big screen at a football game.) We had a trip to Portland, Oregon, planned to visit our good friends Derek and Joanne, and that seemed to be the perfect fit. Linda and I don't enjoy a huge amount of romantic moments together, and I wanted to have something for both of us to remember. Asking her on top of a mountain in the snow I thought would be just right. Unfortunately I hadn't sacrificed to the weather gods out in Portland, and there was freezing rain the first night we were there. So January 15th came and went with the ring burning a hole in my laptop case. On January 16th, there was still ice on the ground, but Derek and I were itching to get up to the mountain, whereas Linda and Joanne were in touch with reality and a bit worried about the car slipping on the ice.

Calamity after calamity interrupted our trip to Mt. Hood. After stopping in a Walmart shopping center for new winshield wipers, and barely making it to the door without falling down, we decided to stop at a McDonald's for some breakfast. Unfortunately the car did not want to stop and we skidded down the Drive-Thru and bumped pretty hard into the curb. Only after letting the car skid into the gravel lot next to the McDonald's was Derek able to control the car and get back on the road.

At this point both Linda and Joanne were ready to go home. Derek and I just wanted to go a little farther and see if the road conditions cleared up. For those of you that know Linda, she was a little upset at this point. We stopped to get some food at a Burger King or something and continued up the mountain. The roads were all of a sudden clear of ice and Derek and I were feeling good about getting there. Linda was still pissed off. Finally we got to the sign that said to put on our snow-chains, and stopped the car. We got the chains out and figured out how to put them on after an initial struggle. Unfortunately, the deal Derek had got on them turned out to be a case of "you get what you pay for." They flew off within a half-mile, we tried once or twice more and just decided to drive on without them. Finally we got to the mountain. I was feeling great, everything was falling into place. Linda on the other hand was upset and in no mood to forgive me for "acting strange." I was starting to worry that she might say no, but I decided to go for it. After a few runs, Linda and I separated from Derek and Joanne to "take some pictures on the mountain." Finally I had a chance. I took off my skis in the snow, got down on one knee, and asked Linda to marry me.

she said

ok, so i'm writing this after i scanned over ben's version of the story. first of all, ben LOVES wachovia. when we were in philadelphia over thanksgiving one year, he was thrilled to see a wachovia atm. when i lived on 47th street, he tried to convince me to open up a wachovia bank account since it was 50 feet from my apartment. so i totally believed the whole wachovia story--in fact, taking pictures of the wachovias sprouting up all over manhattan was something that he would do. y'all know the way he is, just whimsical and enthusiastic about odd things. (digression: one of his favorite shows is USA's The Monk--so if you know the show, you can totally see how ben and the monk are similar)

anyway, everything ben said happened, except he got the days confused :) we tried to go out on saturday, and got windshield wipers at walmart, but turned around. the ice on the road was SUPER thick and VERY treacherous. needless to say, as soon as we slid into the curb at mcdonald's on sunday, i was very adamant about going back.... wouldn't any sane person think the same thing?? :) but i couldn't figure out why ben wanted to get up to the resort SO BAD, and then blah blah blah. like, was he just totally clueless??? :)

needless to say, after the stress of that morning, and of it being my first time that season snowboarding after a surgery last season, i was totally stressed. so when ben proposed me, i did the only natural thing that a stressed person would do: i burst into tears :)